Problems Again
Hi to all,
I am so sorry that it has been so long since I posted here. I will really try to keep this more regularly done. Anyway, my son wants to move in with me this Fall. He mentioned it just after I moved into this new apartment here in north Dallas. I was obviously very happy about it, but was not sure how my ex would respond. Now that she has responded, I realize I did have some idea how she would respond and she was true to form.
My son told her he wanted to move in with me in the Fall about two weeks ago. In spite of this, she did not contact me at all and did not even mention it the next time she saw me face to face. So I contacted her and it turns out that she claims she was not sure how to approach me with her list of concerns about him living with me. The truth was more likely that she was not wanting to deal with it and was probably hoping to avoid a confrontation with me until it was too late to get him set up for school here.
So I asked her what concerns she has and she tells me for one thing, she is concerned about my depression. I told her that I have felt much better since moving to the Dallas area. Then she says she is worried about whether or not I can keep my job and not have to move suddenly. I told her that the main reason I chose to move here instead of Waco is because I knew I could get a better paying job here and get employment fast. If I had tried to move to Waco again, I doubt I would have a job even now. I was unemployed for almost 3 months in Waco the last time I found myself looking for work there.
I also said I have family nearby and friends here already and really love the congregation that I worship with as well. She then said she is afraid that I will talk to our son about things I shouldn't regarding my feelings about her and all. She said that I wrote something in my step-daughter's graduation card that made her very uncomfortable. I told her that because my relationship with my step-daughter has been almost non-existent, I just wanted to express to her that in spite of the fact that her mom and I split up, I love her like a daughter and really want to be there for her as much as I can. I wrote that I missed her and hoped she knew she could always call me or come visit anytime. Is that inappropriate? I told her that I don't talk to our son about the fact that his mom and I will never get back together again, because he is smart and already knows that. He expects her to marry her current boyfriend soon and so there is no need to talk about it. Although, I did ask him if he would be okay with his mom marrying her new boyfriend once...but she did the same thing. She talked with him about the possibility that she would marry this guy. So I am not sure what concerns her about what I talk with our son about.
She was on her way to her second job and so she said she would try to talk with me more about all this later. She wanted to know if our son found he was not liking school up here and living with me, could he move back in with her? What a stupid question! I would not force him to stay here if he wanted to move back in with her. She makes me very upset to say the least. It is not like I don't have concerns of my own. In fact, I think my concerns about him living with her are much bigger than her concerns about me.
She has pretty much stopped attending church altogether and the man she will most likely marry is not a Christian. He claims to be, but he is Pentecostal and doesn't really attend regularly. In fact, I don't think he attends at all anymore either. Also, according to our son, his mom and his half-sister use curse words on a regular basis now around the house. That was not at all acceptable when I was there. She also has no problem with letting my step-daughter drink alcoholic beverages, stay out all night with her non-Christian boyfriend...and other guys and girls she is friends with from school. It seems to me that there is no moral compass in that home anymore and I don't like the idea of my son living in that environment. He needs to attend church regularly and have Christian influences in the home environment. I do not curse, nor do I watch inappropriate shows on TV. I also provide my son a good example in my daily practice of reading my Bible and studying to prepare Bible lessons, etc.
My ex has a real talent for making me feel worthless as a person and re-opens wounds from the divorce easily too. Yet, when I stop and think, I have much more important and valid concerns about her than she does about me. I am doing fine here in Dallas and really believe that this is only the beginning of bigger and better things in my life. To have my son with me most of the time is an added bonus as well. Well, I had better stop this rambling post and get going for now, but I will write again very soon I promise.
I am so sorry that it has been so long since I posted here. I will really try to keep this more regularly done. Anyway, my son wants to move in with me this Fall. He mentioned it just after I moved into this new apartment here in north Dallas. I was obviously very happy about it, but was not sure how my ex would respond. Now that she has responded, I realize I did have some idea how she would respond and she was true to form.
My son told her he wanted to move in with me in the Fall about two weeks ago. In spite of this, she did not contact me at all and did not even mention it the next time she saw me face to face. So I contacted her and it turns out that she claims she was not sure how to approach me with her list of concerns about him living with me. The truth was more likely that she was not wanting to deal with it and was probably hoping to avoid a confrontation with me until it was too late to get him set up for school here.
So I asked her what concerns she has and she tells me for one thing, she is concerned about my depression. I told her that I have felt much better since moving to the Dallas area. Then she says she is worried about whether or not I can keep my job and not have to move suddenly. I told her that the main reason I chose to move here instead of Waco is because I knew I could get a better paying job here and get employment fast. If I had tried to move to Waco again, I doubt I would have a job even now. I was unemployed for almost 3 months in Waco the last time I found myself looking for work there.
I also said I have family nearby and friends here already and really love the congregation that I worship with as well. She then said she is afraid that I will talk to our son about things I shouldn't regarding my feelings about her and all. She said that I wrote something in my step-daughter's graduation card that made her very uncomfortable. I told her that because my relationship with my step-daughter has been almost non-existent, I just wanted to express to her that in spite of the fact that her mom and I split up, I love her like a daughter and really want to be there for her as much as I can. I wrote that I missed her and hoped she knew she could always call me or come visit anytime. Is that inappropriate? I told her that I don't talk to our son about the fact that his mom and I will never get back together again, because he is smart and already knows that. He expects her to marry her current boyfriend soon and so there is no need to talk about it. Although, I did ask him if he would be okay with his mom marrying her new boyfriend once...but she did the same thing. She talked with him about the possibility that she would marry this guy. So I am not sure what concerns her about what I talk with our son about.
She was on her way to her second job and so she said she would try to talk with me more about all this later. She wanted to know if our son found he was not liking school up here and living with me, could he move back in with her? What a stupid question! I would not force him to stay here if he wanted to move back in with her. She makes me very upset to say the least. It is not like I don't have concerns of my own. In fact, I think my concerns about him living with her are much bigger than her concerns about me.
She has pretty much stopped attending church altogether and the man she will most likely marry is not a Christian. He claims to be, but he is Pentecostal and doesn't really attend regularly. In fact, I don't think he attends at all anymore either. Also, according to our son, his mom and his half-sister use curse words on a regular basis now around the house. That was not at all acceptable when I was there. She also has no problem with letting my step-daughter drink alcoholic beverages, stay out all night with her non-Christian boyfriend...and other guys and girls she is friends with from school. It seems to me that there is no moral compass in that home anymore and I don't like the idea of my son living in that environment. He needs to attend church regularly and have Christian influences in the home environment. I do not curse, nor do I watch inappropriate shows on TV. I also provide my son a good example in my daily practice of reading my Bible and studying to prepare Bible lessons, etc.
My ex has a real talent for making me feel worthless as a person and re-opens wounds from the divorce easily too. Yet, when I stop and think, I have much more important and valid concerns about her than she does about me. I am doing fine here in Dallas and really believe that this is only the beginning of bigger and better things in my life. To have my son with me most of the time is an added bonus as well. Well, I had better stop this rambling post and get going for now, but I will write again very soon I promise.
posted by Unknown at 12:51 AM
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