Family Matters and an uncertain future
I am forty-one years old and I still feel like I have no clue how to be a grown-up. I need two more years of college to complete a degree in Music Ed. I have wanted a career in music all my life. Now that I am divorced, I want to complete this degree more than ever. I have been accepted at Stephen F Austin State University. I am getting ready to make the move there and start school this January.
Then I call and talk to my older brother about my plans. He then tells me that he really thinks I need to give up on my dream and forget about college. He says my first priority is to my son. My son is almost twelve years old. My brother thinks that I will not be able to pay child support while I am in school, nor will I be able to survive financially while in school. He says I just need to focus on trying to get vocational rehab and forget about a Music Degree. He says I won't be able to make a living in music.
Here I am now, 41 yrs old and currently unemployed. I do have musical talent and skills. I can sing better than the average person. I have a very high tenor voice that is strong and beautiful. Everyone that hears me sing is blown away by the mix of power and beauty in my voice. I have a feeling for music and know how to express the emotion of the music. Yet, I have gone from one job I hate to the next. I have also never been able to make much money. I have struggled financially all my adult life. I was the most financially stable I had ever been just before I found out my wife was cheating on me. Things really took a turn for the worst after that.
I have chronic pain in my neck and around my left shoulder blade due to a service connected injury while I was in the Navy. I am rated at 30% disabled by the VA. All of my job history has been in either sales or manual labor. I am no longer able to do physically demanding work. I have tried to find work that I can live on here in Waco and had no success. I want to get out of Waco real bad.
But my son is the most important person to me in this life. I want to be there for him. He wants to move in with me this Summer and just visit his mom. As much as I would love that, I don't know if that is financially possible for me to even do. If it is possible, I will make it happen. But now I wonder if I am being selfish and stupid for pursuing this Music Ed degree. I am now confused. I wish I could find someone rich that would be willing to support me and my son while I finish school but I know how unrealistic that is.
I have not made good decisions about an education or career my whole life. I am tired of being unable to take care of myself or anyone else for that matter. I no longer feel like I am able to make good choices in regards to this. I feel so lost. Am I being selfish and stupid? Is my brother right about giving up on a music career and looking to get vocational rehab? I wish I knew what the smart thing is to do. If I get my degree, I'll be about 43 or 44 yrs old. Will anyone hire a man that age with a music degree and no experience?
Then I call and talk to my older brother about my plans. He then tells me that he really thinks I need to give up on my dream and forget about college. He says my first priority is to my son. My son is almost twelve years old. My brother thinks that I will not be able to pay child support while I am in school, nor will I be able to survive financially while in school. He says I just need to focus on trying to get vocational rehab and forget about a Music Degree. He says I won't be able to make a living in music.
Here I am now, 41 yrs old and currently unemployed. I do have musical talent and skills. I can sing better than the average person. I have a very high tenor voice that is strong and beautiful. Everyone that hears me sing is blown away by the mix of power and beauty in my voice. I have a feeling for music and know how to express the emotion of the music. Yet, I have gone from one job I hate to the next. I have also never been able to make much money. I have struggled financially all my adult life. I was the most financially stable I had ever been just before I found out my wife was cheating on me. Things really took a turn for the worst after that.
I have chronic pain in my neck and around my left shoulder blade due to a service connected injury while I was in the Navy. I am rated at 30% disabled by the VA. All of my job history has been in either sales or manual labor. I am no longer able to do physically demanding work. I have tried to find work that I can live on here in Waco and had no success. I want to get out of Waco real bad.
But my son is the most important person to me in this life. I want to be there for him. He wants to move in with me this Summer and just visit his mom. As much as I would love that, I don't know if that is financially possible for me to even do. If it is possible, I will make it happen. But now I wonder if I am being selfish and stupid for pursuing this Music Ed degree. I am now confused. I wish I could find someone rich that would be willing to support me and my son while I finish school but I know how unrealistic that is.
I have not made good decisions about an education or career my whole life. I am tired of being unable to take care of myself or anyone else for that matter. I no longer feel like I am able to make good choices in regards to this. I feel so lost. Am I being selfish and stupid? Is my brother right about giving up on a music career and looking to get vocational rehab? I wish I knew what the smart thing is to do. If I get my degree, I'll be about 43 or 44 yrs old. Will anyone hire a man that age with a music degree and no experience?
posted by Unknown at 11:44 PM
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