All Things New
I will be turning 42 years old on Monday and as I look back at my life, I feel like I have wasted so much of my life thus far. But all things considered, I have had major life-changing events in my life in the last two or three years. I experienced the pain and heartache of a divorce that I never wanted. It did cause me to take a deep look inside myself for the first time though. This was important. I wish I could have done so without my divorce, but I like to think that everything happens for a reason.
The fact remains that it takes two people to make a marriage work and regardless of the fact that I never lost hope in fixing my marriage, my wife did lose that hope. Some of my family members think she is completely untrustworthy and I should not be so nice to her. Perspective is everything. I was married to her for eleven years and was mostly happy for at least ten of those years. I helped her raise her daughter from her first husband in that time. She and I also had a boy who is a son I could not be more proud of. Our love helped to create that boy. When I look at him, I remember the love that I had for his mother. I do not know why she lost hope in saving our marriage or why she believes it will never again be possible for us to be happy together. Yet, I can't be cruel to her ever. I can't force her to love me either.
I returned to college in January and I plan to obtain a Master's in Social Work if it is God's will. I have learned so much about myself and if I ever marry again, I know that I will be a much better husband than I was in my first marriage. I learned that I can survive without my ex-wife and there is a bright future possible. I have an opportunity for a "do-over" in a sense. So now I am building a new me inside and out and look ahead with excitement and believe that God will use me to comfort many others who suffer the evils of divorce. God loves us and He can heal our wounds. I pray now for the opportunity to help many others survive the destruction of divorce or even better, maybe I can help them to avoid it all together. May God watch over me and my loved ones. To Him be the glory forever.
The fact remains that it takes two people to make a marriage work and regardless of the fact that I never lost hope in fixing my marriage, my wife did lose that hope. Some of my family members think she is completely untrustworthy and I should not be so nice to her. Perspective is everything. I was married to her for eleven years and was mostly happy for at least ten of those years. I helped her raise her daughter from her first husband in that time. She and I also had a boy who is a son I could not be more proud of. Our love helped to create that boy. When I look at him, I remember the love that I had for his mother. I do not know why she lost hope in saving our marriage or why she believes it will never again be possible for us to be happy together. Yet, I can't be cruel to her ever. I can't force her to love me either.
I returned to college in January and I plan to obtain a Master's in Social Work if it is God's will. I have learned so much about myself and if I ever marry again, I know that I will be a much better husband than I was in my first marriage. I learned that I can survive without my ex-wife and there is a bright future possible. I have an opportunity for a "do-over" in a sense. So now I am building a new me inside and out and look ahead with excitement and believe that God will use me to comfort many others who suffer the evils of divorce. God loves us and He can heal our wounds. I pray now for the opportunity to help many others survive the destruction of divorce or even better, maybe I can help them to avoid it all together. May God watch over me and my loved ones. To Him be the glory forever.
posted by Unknown at 9:11 PM
1 Comments:
You'll have to change your age in the sidebar. Happy birthday!
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