What am I doing?
My son came to spend the weekend with me for the first time since I settled in here at SFASU and I suppose it makes me think and question if I really should be here. This is my dream to finish my Music Ed degree and I hope to complete it in two years, if the Lord wills it; but is this where I should be?
This is not the first time I have doubted myself in considering this path. I have had my older brother tell me all about how bad an idea he thinks this is for me. He doesn't believe I'll be able to get a job in the Music Education field as I have mentioned before in a previous blog. I met my ex half way last night. By the time I got to my apt with my son it was almost 9:30pm. We stayed up too late playing video games and watching TV together. We got up at 8am and had a pretty good day together today. But I will not have that much time with him tomorrow. After we eat lunch, I am supposed to call and arrange the time to meet half way for him to return with her. After that, I won't see him again until the week-end after next.
I think that the visit seems so short and then he's gone again. The absolute worst part of divorce as I see it...is not to be in each and every day of your kids lives anymore. I expect that when they go off to college, but not before. I wish I could put the broken family back together.
I know I can't do anything but move on and do the best I can...be the best dad I can be in spite of everything. For some reason, I keep asking myself if this is right for my son. I am telling myself that it is only two years and I'll be much more able to provide for my son and I'll teach him to follow his dreams and not let anything get in his way. I think this is right for me and for my son. Could I be wrong?
This is not the first time I have doubted myself in considering this path. I have had my older brother tell me all about how bad an idea he thinks this is for me. He doesn't believe I'll be able to get a job in the Music Education field as I have mentioned before in a previous blog. I met my ex half way last night. By the time I got to my apt with my son it was almost 9:30pm. We stayed up too late playing video games and watching TV together. We got up at 8am and had a pretty good day together today. But I will not have that much time with him tomorrow. After we eat lunch, I am supposed to call and arrange the time to meet half way for him to return with her. After that, I won't see him again until the week-end after next.
I think that the visit seems so short and then he's gone again. The absolute worst part of divorce as I see it...is not to be in each and every day of your kids lives anymore. I expect that when they go off to college, but not before. I wish I could put the broken family back together.
I know I can't do anything but move on and do the best I can...be the best dad I can be in spite of everything. For some reason, I keep asking myself if this is right for my son. I am telling myself that it is only two years and I'll be much more able to provide for my son and I'll teach him to follow his dreams and not let anything get in his way. I think this is right for me and for my son. Could I be wrong?
posted by Unknown at 10:19 PM
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