Is There Life After Divorce?

I know there is life after divorce, but I tell you what, it is not so easy in the first few years especially. I look back at the past two years and can really see that I have learned much and made some real improvement. Of course, it doesn't take much of anything to happen that might make me feel like I have not really made any progress at all.

Divorce seems similar to the death of a spouse with the only major difference (and it is major) is that in divorce the person in the pain and loss of divorce must still interact with the ex-spouse. The wounds that might have mostly healed get ripped open again and are fresh.

I am learning that when my mind starts to dwell on my ex-wife, it is best to try thinking on other things and avoid any thought of her. I wish I felt nothing but anger toward her sometimes, but I know that is not healthy. Other times I wish I just never had to see her or talk to her ever again. But that will not happen unless she died and I really don't want to wish that on anyone. There is not any regret about my ever marrying my ex-wife. I wish we had worked out the problems we had and had avoided any unfaithfulness and saved the marriage.

Yet, one thing I know is that I cannot change the past and the only thing I can really control is myself and how I let things affect me. My son's well-being is my top priority...second only to living a Christian life to please God. I am so very thankful that I was at least married to my ex for a while and that our love for each other produced the son of whom I am most proud. I miss him every day we are not together. Of all the pain and unfairness of divorce, I believe the worst part is that it destroys the complete family unit. No longer is it possible for the child or children to have two loving parents who love each other and the kids and work together to raise their kids as God desires us to raise them.

I have been robbed of being in my son's life every single day as he grows up and that is a crime against me and a crime against my son. Yet, this is again something beyond my control to changeand was not avoidable either.

So, although the answer to my title question is YES, it is a major rebuilding process. It is lonely as well. Yet, as bad as I would like to find someone to marry to ease my lonliness, I refuse to just settle for the first person who might be willing to marry me. I want to avoid a repeat of divorce at all costs. I want to be married to the woman who will always be my best friend and lover and help meet in this life until death parts us. I want to grow old taking care of each other. I am praying that God will help me to find this one special person.